What’s at the heart of this crisis in compassion? Too much screen time, for one. Stress is another factor. The hormone oxytocin, responsible for connecting and bonding us to our kids, giving us that warm, fuzzy feeling during caregiving—that hormone works on the same receptors in the brain as cortisol, the stress hormone. And therein lies the tension: It’s neurologically impossible to be both stressed out, and really loving and kind at the same time.

A Mindfulness Practice for Families

This is an informal mindfulness practice that you can do with your family. It’s the basis of most compassion and empathy training. You can do this practice on birthdays, or when other opportunities to make wishes come around. You can also use this practice to wind down before bed. The point of is: We don’t have to be perfectly loving beings at all times. We don’t have the psychological, financial, or genetic resources to literally treat everyone as we treat our own child—let alone treat our own child as we’d always like to. Instead, we strive to do our best and aim for that middle path: loving, caring, and acts of kindness. Because compassion, and even self-compassion, runs in families. I encourage you to find ways to practice compassion. What you do now will make a difference for future generations.