My phone and I became fast friends—though I was a jealous, needy friend, and kept my iPhone clamped tight to my hip in a pouch, not unlike an old West gunslinger with his colt revolver. Ask my wife about my compulsive phone-checking at the dinner table and you’ll know a bit about what became my addictive cycle of non-work-related phone-fun (and suffering). Whether it be the mindless nudge toward your phone screen, a thick slice of cake, a cigarette, or various substances, craving is familiar to us all.
How the Brain Forms a Habit
Researchers like Judson Brewer at the Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts have studied the cycle of desire. Brewer and his colleagues have shown how addictions operate through a process of conditioning the brain: As Brewer points out in his new book, The Craving Mind, we are never in direct contact with the objects of our desires—only with mental representations of them in our minds. And it’s this fact that holds the promise of freedom from the destructive cycle of craving (particularly at the level of life-bleeding addiction). We can’t change the objects that trigger our desire—those cues will continue unabated and unbidden. But we can change how we relate to our mental experiences of them—the word thoughts, mental images, and bodily sensations of desire. “Craving is the link that is targeted here in cutting through the cycle of dependent origination” writes Brewer and colleagues. Brewer’s research suggests that mindfulness is key to cutting the link between conditioned cues of desired objects and the craving that leads to addictive behavior. “Mindfulness functions to decouple pleasant and unpleasant experiences from habitual reactions of craving and aversion by removing the affective bias that fuels such emotional reactivity.” Whereas more traditional or “relapse prevention” approaches to treating addictive craving focus on shifting the environment, problem solving, avoiding addiction cues, and boosting positive feelings, mindfulness offers the possibility of severing the cycle at its source in the brain, and treatment outcome studies in areas such as smoking cessation are increasingly bearing out the promise of this approach.
A Mindfulness Practice to Witness Your Cravings
Many modern cars have a navigation (“nav”) system built into them—devices meant to guide us in unfamiliar territory, and help us anticipate what lies ahead. Much like our always-thinking, and often-craving minds, nav systems are representations of reality—thoughts (including desirous ones) are meant to guide us toward something (or somewhere) we want, but they are NOT the real road itself. With the practice below, you can begin to notice cravings (and mental images and thoughts in general) as mere nudges or cues from your internal nav system. You can learn to consult your nav (because desire isn’t necessarily always bad) when appropriate, and yet keep your focus on the road ahead. When you find yourself lost in a sea of craving, try the following: The goal with this practice is to shift from a rigid frame of thinking to foster instead a more flexible relationship with your desires. This requires a lot of practice. To be of real benefit, this practice must become a habit. Such a habit will give you a measure of psychological freedom whether it be a mild chocolate impulse or an intense self-destructive urge.
Resilience in the Face of Cravings
When faced with a day’s activities and situations full of temptations (cake, drink, or something more of the libidinal variety), a torrent of thoughts run through the mind: Here we go again . . . I can’t believe I’m about to go down this road again! . . . Why do I always have to do this . . . It’s the weekend, I deserve to indulge . . . I’ll make it my New Year’s Resolution to stop . . . (Add your own examples, perhaps plus an expletive or two). The pull of cravings (and the disruption this intense desire has on emotional, physical, relational, and perhaps financial well-being) suggests it may be important to get things on a less compulsive, more compassionate, and flexible track. The thoughts and mental images present themselves as real and in need of immediate gratification. “You need this now!” they scream. They often imply an absolute aspect of time with words like “never” and “always.” How effective are you when you get stuck thinking in these ways? Do thoughts infused with these characteristics help or hinder your ability to manage your daily life? An alternative is to build flexibility into how you relate to your own desirous thoughts. Instead of more junk calories, or another fling within a toxic relationship, what you need is a heaping helping of mindful awareness of thinking—of observing your own thoughts without buying into them as absolute truth or trying to force them away. Try telling yourself not to think about a thick slice of chocolate cake. Do it right now. Don’t let yourself think about it, not even a little bit! Pointless, right? You can’t force thoughts away, particularly ones with the energy and momentum of desire behind them. What’s more helpful is to build your capacity to serve as a witness to your own thoughts. Can you notice yourself thinking right now? Pause and try it. Can you observe your own inner voice? The moment you try to do so, you are mindful of your thoughts, instead of being the thoughts. Typically, when we think about something we crave, that thought feels very close, as if it’s inside us, part of who we are. Mindfulness helps us see the thought as merely a moment of information. It’s just a thought. Just one of the thousands our minds churn out on a daily basis. Mindfulness practice helps us learn to go behind the impulse and watch your own thinking, to notice that thoughts come and go on their own. This sounds simple, yet takes considerable practice. Like bubbles you’ve blown, thoughts are just there. They float around a bit and eventually drift away and pop.
References
Brewer, Judson et al. (2012). Craving to quit: Psychological models and neurobiological mechanisms of mindfulness training as treatment for addictions. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 1-14. Brewer, Judson (2017). The Craving Mind. Yale University Press. Harris, Russ (2008). The Happiness Trap. Trumpeter Publishing. Wilson, Kelly & DuFrane, Troy (2012). The wisdom to know the difference: An acceptance and commitment therapy workbook for overcoming substance abuse. Oakland: New Harbinger.
