Marriage Counseling Questions
We receive so many complicated questions from readers. After all, marriage is a complicated thing–no marriage is exactly the same. While we offer marriage advice on a variety of topics, a huge majority of readers could benefit from marriage counseling. Couples marriage counseling is a chance to tackle your specific challenges head-on. So often people wonder, is marriage counseling for me? Are we really to that point?
If you are in a position of feeling hopeless and ready to call it quits marriage counseling is an absolute must. Couples marriage counseling can give you both an outside perspective on recurring arguments and issues. The therapist can give you fresh insight into what you can do to repair and heal the marriage. However, marriage counseling is absolutely not only for couples on the verge of divorce. If you have a connected, loving relationship, but an issue constantly comes up and is causing problems, marriage counseling can help you find a resolution. Rather than fighting about the same thing over and over again, why not get some fresh eyes on the matter? A trained therapist can mediate between the two of you, guiding you to a happier future.
Who Should See a Counselor
There is a common misconception that if you and your spouse resort to going to marriage counseling, your marriage is completely on the rocks. While certainly many couples leave couples marriage counseling as a last-ditch effort before splitting, a huge number of couples in healthy relationships have benefitted from therapy as well. Even if you think your life or your marriage is “perfect,” there are always things to work on: attachment styles, coping skills, trauma, everyday triggers, the mundane, the big, the small, the out of the ordinary. Counseling can help with ALL of it!
Is Therapy for Us?
When a soon-to-be-married couple takes advantage of pre-marriage counseling it can be a huge advantage to them. They will leave equipped with the tools and perspective to start their newlywed life in a positive direction. The habits we develop within a marriage start from the day we meet. We fall into patterns of behavior. Over time these habits and behaviors can either be positive things that make us closer and our marriage more fulfilling, or they can be negative patterns of behavior that deteriorate the relationship. Pre-marriage counseling is a great way to consciously review the positive and negative aspects of the relationship as it currently stands. That way, when the couple is married the relationship can be as fresh and fulfilling as possible. Perhaps you satisfied overall with the status of your relationship, but you are frustrated with certain aspects of your marriage. Healthy, happy marriages can also benefit from couples marriage counseling! Consider it scheduled maintenance. Marriage counseling can give you a chance to check in with each other and make a good thing even better. When both partners are continuously mindful and accountable for their behavior, growth occurs. Every relationship has the capacity to grow and improve. Life is unpredictable can turn into a real battle, why not fortify marriage before you are struggling in the trenches? Give it a try.
Marriage Counseling Tips
If you have never been to therapy you may be apprehensive to take the plunge. However, it’s really not so scary. Here are some marriage counseling tips that will help you get the most out of the experience!
How to Find a Good Counselor
Potentially the most important factor in whether marriage counseling will work for you is how good your therapist is. Finding a marriage counselor with a demeanor and style compatible with yours is crucial. Unfortunately, this may mean trying more than one marriage counselor until you find the right fit. While that is time-consuming and frustrating, finding the right marriage counselor for you is really key in the effectiveness of therapy.
What to Look for in a Therapist
Go to Psychology Today and start to look at profiles. There are a lot of modalities that counselors use, so find what works for you. Psychology Today describes what they specialize in, how they handle situations, and from there you can find someone that sounds like a good fit for you. You can also search by who takes your insurance, or who specializes in specific things (marriage issues, eating disorders, trauma, infidelity, etc.).
Find a couples marriage counselor that is licensed to practice. Having the correct academic background and licensure can be important. You need someone that is properly trained in order for marriage counseling to be most effective. Religious groups often offer forms of counseling that can be a good fit for many couples. Depending on the depth of the issues you are dealing with, a therapist with expertise and credentials may be the best option. There are so many different acronyms (LMFT, LCSW, MHC, Psychologist). But the MOST important thing is just finding someone who is the right fit for you. Your relationship and trust with a counselor can make or break the experience and the effectiveness of your counseling. Don’t be afraid to switch therapists if you aren’t vibing with yours. Next, check with your insurance to see what behavioral health benefits your plan offers. From there your insurance can give you a list of in-network providers. Many plans now offer the option of virtual counseling, so that may be something to look into if your schedules are hard to workaround. Additionally, therapy can still be a doable option without insurance.
Ask family or friends for marriage counselor recommendations. If that makes you uncomfortable, you can also look for ratings online. Google marriage counselors in your area and read reviews from other patients. Figuring out how to find a good marriage counselor is half the battle. The effort you put into finding a great therapist will have a great payoff. Do the work. And read the reviews!
Couples Marriage Counseling
Whether you are just starting your lives together or have been together for many years, we applaud you for taking the steps to make your marriage the best it can be. Good for you! Seeking professional help is something to be proud of. You are working hard to create a strong marriage. If you or your spouse are not quite ready to start counseling, below is a list of resources that can be beneficial to your marriage.
OurRelationship – Sign up for this course and you will be guided through exercises that will improve your communication. This course also focuses on core issues that have caused problems. It walks you through how to resolve them. Ted Talks – Check out this playlist of videos that just might save your marriage. There are so many gems in this playlist. Free advice given by experts, such a gift! ePREP – This is a web course that offers skills and strategies for creating a stronger marriage. There is a fee to enroll. Couples Therapy Workbook – If you want to read your way through marriage counseling, this may be a good option. You can use the workbook in the privacy of your own home. A good option! Where Should We Begin? – A unique resource that could be helpful. This podcast by the incredible Esther Perel gives you a raw look into a couples counseling session. Each one different from the last. You could see what counseling is like. You could also gain insight into your own marriage as you listen. 5 Minute Therapy Tips – YouTube can be a great resource. You can learn from leading therapists in their field. The video linked is very short, but the skill of the “just noticeable difference” is a game-changer! There are unlimited videos that could be helpful. Take a look! Online Marriage Counseling Services – Sometimes meeting in person with a therapist can be intimidating. Many virtual therapy options exist that couples can benefit from.
Marriage Counseling FOR AFFAIR RECOVERY
If the trust in your marriage has been destroyed due to an affair, it’s very likely that you’ll need professional help from a trained psychologist and marriage counselor to completely heal your marriage. If BOTH of you are committed to restore your marriage after infidelity, we highly recommend Dr. Wyatt Fisher’s Affair Recovery Program! It is well worth the investment, and you can use the code “Divas” to get $50 off. This program will walk you through the exact sequence of steps required for healing from an affair. The steps are not easy, but they will be worth it! If handled properly following these steps, it can take a marriage anywhere from 6 months to 2 years to fully heal from an affair. If these steps aren’t followed, it can take a lifetime.
There you have it! Marriage counseling 101. We are rooting for you! For more ideas for improving your marriage check out the 10 Habits of Happy Marriages or How to Cope with Mental Illness in Marriage.
